honey badger don't give a shit. (galbadia) wrote in lolplotholes,
honey badger don't give a shit.
galbadia
lolplotholes

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i should get some fucking sleep

lol second entry already

So I've been replaying FFVIII, right? Yeah, okay. I'm only up to before the Timber mission right now, though; lol, I know I said I'd spend like EVERY WAKING MINUTE playing the game, but then I changed my mind. However, even in that small amount of time, I've managed to gather details for another exciting installment of...

Shit That Doesn't Make Sense! Yay!


Basically, Square wants us to believe that it takes maybe five minutes to take a trip across an area that is, in comparison to our world, about the same distance as Key West to Cancun (so like 400, maybe 300 miles lolol), by boat. Now, those SeeD transport vessels are probably pretty fast, but... LOL WE'LL GET TO THIS. Still, lmao. I know this is a ~fantasy world~ but COME ON, NOW. If people can die from normal things like car accidents and childbirth, transportation times should be realistic, fuckdamnit.

Basically, this is a timeline up to and through the SeeD field exam, based on details I've picked up.

  • EARLY MORNING: (I would guess this to be about 5:00am, but who the fuck knows?) Seifer and Squall have their ~*EPIC DUEL*~!!1 (Later, Zell does mention that he heard Squall got beaten up by Seifer "this morning", so I GUESS IT HAPPENED THE SAME DAY AS EVERYFUCKINGTHING UP UNTIL THE TIMBER MISSION.)

  • MID-MORNING: (about 8:00am?) Squall has been patched up by Kadowaki and heads off to homeroom with Quistis. hot for teacher amirite

  • MID-MORNING/LATE MORNING: (9:00am to 11:00am, possibly?) Squall goes to the Fire Cavern to get Ifrit. ...Another thing, here. They'd be walking basically across the state of Ohio (maybe half the state), so how does it only take them like an hour or w/e? D: ugh.

  • 1600 HOURS: (4:00pm) Field exam participants are to meet in the hall. They probably leave at this time, too. From here they have to make it to the town of Balamb — easily half an hour drive, if not more — so that makes me wonder wtf is up with this next time.

  • 1700 HOURS: (5:00pm) This is something that's overlooked, probably! It's not given anywhere right out, but... if you listen to the bells chime in Dollet's town square while Seifer and crew are waiting, they ring five times. Usually bells ringing signals a time. ...SO UH LOL WHAT did it take them like 15 minutes to go 300-400 miles? :| wts.

  • 1900 HOURS: (7:00pm) All squads need to meet at Lapin Beach by this time. After receiving this order, Seifer's all "OMG WTF LOL WE HAVE 30 MINUTES BITCHES!!! HURRY!!11!"

  • AFTER THAT: They return to the town of Balamb. Here, Quistis tells them to be back at Garden by sundown. ...NOW WAIT A MINUTE HERE. If the field exam is given in the spring, and spring is only just the beginning of longer days, 7:00 should be pretty close to sundown. They'd still have to walk back to Garden and since Seifer took the car, that could be awhile... at least double the time it takes to drive.

  • Then they wait around for their results (for like fucking 2 minutes wth), which are WOW tallied up pretty speedily, and their shit is given to them.

  • Later that night (by now it's dark btw, wtf... so, what, like 9:00 or 10:00?), the ball is held. Squall dances with Rinoa, then goes and bangs meets Quistis in the Secret Area, etc. During their time there, she asks what time it is, and he tells her after midnight. HAHA BEST HINT AT TIME WE'VE GOTTEN IN THIS ENTIRE GAME. JUDAS PRIEST. :|

So there's that.


...You know what it is, actually? Or what I say it is, anyway, because honestly this is the only thing that makes sense to me at this point.

ULTIMECIA FUCKED UP TIME AND LOGIC WHEN SHE SHOWED UP AND GAVE EDEA HER POWERS, LOL.

Tags: are you fucking kidding me, bitch what, come on now, elena thinks too much y/y?, freaking seriously, hello pay attention to the details, how did they do all of that in one day, how is this possible, i'm about to call my timeline canon, maybe ultimecia fucked with the time, more focus on details, square likes to create headaches, such cockery this is, that is so illogical wtf, this cannot possibly be canon, time inconsistencies, what is the meaning of this, what is this shit, what the fuck
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